Instant Gratification Dating

We are living in a time of instant gratification, and while that has proven beneficial in some instances, in others I think it has been the demise of loving and lasting relationships. For example, we have dating apps created to allow you to swipe and have a "hookup" for the night if you're the shiniest prospect in the area. Don't misunderstand, I'm not staring down from a place of judgement, but rather a place of concern for what we're teaching our youth - our female youth in particular.


When not in a monogamous relationship, it has become the norm to go out and sleep with someone if you feel like it. A far cry from what our mothers taught us about being "ladylike." What is most distressing is not that women are doing this - it's that I believe they're doing it in hopes of landing a man, or the delusion he'll fall in love with you after. Do I believe some women can engage in noncommittal sex and keep it moving? Yes. But I challenge you to ask the majority why they do it. I can almost guarantee it's out of a void in their life they're hoping to fill. Instant attention equals instant gratification and leaves you feeling emotionally bankrupt.

While on the other end of the spectrum, when in a monogamous relationship, there is no clear distinction between dating and marriage. We meet someone, move in after a year because society deems it proper timing, and then start to mimic a married couple. You cook for him, do his laundry, you're on his phone plan and maybe even have his child. All while he has made absolutely no commitment to you. We get so blinded by the current cultural norms of being someone's significant other, but forget to take time during the dating period to really understand the commitment love takes. Just a thought, but if we attempt to practice some discipline in our dating life, it might be an investment in the marriage we hope to have one day.

The reason I can speak on, and have an opinion about this, is because I've been through it. I've been the girl that slept with a guy thinking something more would come of it, I've played "wife" to a boyfriend of six years to be left single, I've cheated, and likely been cheated on, and I've learned from my mistakes. I didn't write this to give a solution or answer to the dating problems of the world, but rather provide a different perspective, and help you to understand your worth. Once you grasp how powerful, amazing, extraordinary and influential you are, especially to younger girls likely observing you silently, I hope it will make you think twice about the long-term effects from a short-term gratification lifestyle.

(Hugs)